Tips to Look After Your Marriage

No matter how a durable marriage is, it still needs a little care every now and then for it to stop in becoming stale. Follow these advices on how to sustain a marriage, and show your spouse how much you care about preserving a healthy relationship.


 


1. Prevent becoming your spouse's opponent. Rather than competing with your husband for other peoples' attention, at a dinner party, for example, feel confident in your capability to engage the listener. Give yourself a pep talk, if necessary. If you feel that your spouse is making you out of place in social gatherings, sit down and talk to him about what you feel. Your spouse is not your competition and making small things bigger cannot help in reaching a healthy relationship.


 


2. Show concern in your spouse's desire even if you don't share the same enthusiasm. For example, if your spouse enjoys shopping for antiques, offer to go along for the ride. Likewise, ask your spouse to relax with you in the garden. It is not really compulsory to have the same hobbies with your spouse because before you got married, you both know that you have diverse personalities as well as interests. These distinctions should not be the basis for the couple to argue a lot. These differences are actually spices in your married life that makes it stronger.


 


3. Know how to argue. Forget about past complaints when venting, and focus on the situation at hand. Likewise, never belittle your spouse, and be sympathetic of the feelings of your spouse. Prove that just because you argue, the marriage is not doomed. It does not mean that when you are in an argument; you are bound to separate or to go on divorce. Arguing is a way for the couple to know more about each other and a test on how well you carry yourself even if you are in a condition like this. The important thing to remember when arguing is to let the other talk and the one part is to listen. Talking and yelling at the same time has no point. Learn to keep your cool and remember that all concerns can be fixed when you have proper communication.


 


4. Always be faithful with your spouse. Nothing can damage a marriage faster than a spouse who has cheated. Show your care for each other each day, and find small, but meaningful, ways to connect. Don't be embarrass to hold hands in public, offer a hug and kiss at the end of the workday, and do not forget to respect each other. Dating at random times can also help.


 


5. Accept that the give-and-take in a marriage is often unbalanced. Even though you should neither give nor always take, you have to be eager, at times, to give more than you receive. If you feel that your spouse is acting in a different way, or she may be aloof to you. Ask her and talk about your issues because she might be feeling taken for granted and she may need hugs, cuddles and affection from you.


 


The marriage is about two people coming together and giving out with each other about who they are and what they can learn as a team. The couples that stay married are the ones that grow old together and take from one another. They gain happiness from filling themselves up and then sharing that love with their spouse. Most specially, do not forget that your spouse is your best friend. When couples nourish the friendship in the marriage, then they know that they have a friend in their spouse to be there for the good times and the bad times, in sickness and in health and most essential to have a friend to grow old with.

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by: Janice Lipman
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About the Author

Jeanne W. Harter is working as an instructor and guidance counselor in the University of Arizona She is currently in her Masters education in Psychology, studying in the same school where he is working. She also have 3 kids and have been married for 20 years with a businessman. You can also read her writings on how to save marriage where she is also a co author. http://josephwestberry.typepad.com/blog/2012/01/prevent-divorce-before-it-takes-you.html

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